:: relationships. communication. intimacy. ::
oh my, what an experience. 2 weeks ago, i was spending 12+ hours a day with carlos rosas (one of the creators of nia) and 41 other blue belt trainees. it's called an intensive for a reason...
the nia blue belt is focused on relationships, communication and intimacy. several months ago, during a live interview w/ kdnk, carbondale's public radio station, the interviewer, amy hadden marsh, asked me how one gets a belt in relationship. i did one of those pregnant pauses in which time seemed to stand still as the big black microphone in front of me grew ominously bigger and then (divine intervention) i realized, and said aloud, "well... i don't know, i haven't done the training yet."
well, 77 training hours later, and the blue belt is... well... under my belt.
so here's my short answer:
i showed up... every day, hopping the bus at 6 am to get me across town for the first nia class at 7 am... i showed up with an open heart, an open mind, and an eagerness to experience whatever the day held. how do you show up in relationship? on time, late, tired, full of expectations, willing to let go of old ways of being, thinking, doing...
i brought a mind settled, quiet, and cleared from a daily meditation in which 42 of us sat in stillness and silence with the intention of removing distractions in order to create the space for learning. what do you bring to relationship? the work day, a happy heart, lingering resentment, an argument with your boss, love, fear...
i was in the conscious practice of speaking with impeccability, not assuming anything, not taking anything personally, and always doing my best. how do you honor these four agreements in your relationship to your self, another and the world at large?
i was mind-full in removing "try", "hard" and "because" from my vernacular and here are the reasons these three little words are not in alignment with impeccable speech: there is no "try," only do, or don't do. as i say it is "hard", so it is hard (remember: my thoughts create my reality?). and when we say "because", we are either giving excuses, manipulating, or laying on a guilt trip. how do you use these words and how do they affect your relationships? pay attention to this... in nia, we define intimacy as "attention to detail".
and last but certainly not least, a shaman's pearl (in nia, a pearl is a word or phrase that is succinct, polished, and clear); "relationship is god's gift for self-awareness."
so i learned alot about myself and myself in relationship-- how i show up, what i bring, how i communicate, and what it means to be intimate... with myself, with another, with my surroundings, with my body, my mind, my spirit, my emotions. i have been given the next and
deeper level to share with you, my students, and here is where the real learning occurs... at home, with my tribe, in relationship. and man, am i ever bursting at the seams!